burlesque

Burlesque Debut

2:53:00 PM

So... I did it!  Last Saturday was my debut burlesque performance. I put a lot of effort into not making a big deal out of it. Even my friend Stone was like, "Isn't this a big thing? She's not making it to be a big thing so maybe it isn't. Maybe I'm reading it wrong." 

The truth is, it was a big deal to me. This was something a couple of years in the making. I know that I tend to get so excited sometimes... I think I will literally explode. My heart starts to race, I feel like I'm going to vomit, I pace back and forth like a tiger in a zoo and generally act strange because there is tons of pent up energy that only my actual performance can release. It's much more comfortable for me to just stay as calm as possible.  I realized that if I just do what needs to be done, but don't hype something (a performance) it goes better for me.  But, because this was something I worked towards for a few years (getting over body image issues, learning burlesque, learning hair and makeup, costuming, learning how to put together a routine, etc) the hype built up in me over that time, like, at my core. So, I was super nervous that things wouldn't live up to the work I had done.

While I was doing my hair and makeup on Saturday,  I felt an uncomfortable mixture of being under prepared and over prepared. Or maybe it's that because this was my first time, I realized I was ignorant to the process so I was hypersensitive. I was super focused on what I do know and what I could control, because the other stuff was so totally out of my control.  I wasn't sure what to expect.  I'd gotten a great idea of how things work at a burlesque show because I have been doing pick up for Peepshow Menagerie at Bordello.  But, on Saturday we were at a new venue and that definitely made things a little more nerve racking for me. However, in all honesty, I was most nervous about performing in front of other performers that I admire greatly.

Aside from the actual performing part, this was also my first time making a costume. Fortunately, Miss Josie Bunnie helped guide me in picking out materials and in costume construction. I'm ok with where the costume is now. I know I get carried away with things, so, I decided to stop before I stressed myself by making things complicated. I'm sure I'll add to my costume, but I think it's a great start for now. Josie Bunnie was a great friend during my preparation and was kind enough to pass along some supplies she could spare or that she wasn't going to use. I plan to pay this kindness forward.  Miss Bunnie was at the show on Saturday and she was very encouraging.  I mentioned to her that a huge anxiety I had was that every time I did my routine, I changed something and that it made me feel crazy that I couldn't get through it ONCE without changing something. She said that was normal and those words made a huge difference in my anxiety level. So, all you anxious, aspiring performers take note!!

After my performance was over, I couldn't remember a thing about my performance.

Chris Beyond, one of the Peepshow producers, said I just lay on the floor for 16 minutes. I decided if that were the case, I had probably been drooling as well. So, apparently I lay on the floor and drooled until music ran out. ;-)

But, seriously...

While I was doing Attack of the Rotting Corpses, I noticed this "performance blackout" happening. But I thought it was because I had to know all these lines & move & talk loud & make out with various people & be mostly naked, dancing, covered in "blood". I had no idea it would follow me into burlesque.  I'm vaguely aware of everything until about 9:45pm and then everything started to happen really fast. By 10:15pm I had performed and apparently rejoined my body. After the performance, my friends and other performers were very supportive and offered words of praise and encouragement. And the rest of the audience was very gracious.

"Performance blackouts" aside, I'm obviously on my way to the top. It's just a matter of time before I am rich, famous and working with Joss Whedeon. Although, I'm not really sure how burlesque plays into that right now. ;-p

If you all want a chance to say "I knew her when..." now is the time. I'm doing pickup for Peepshow's A Burlesque Christmas Carol December 2nd at Bordello. I'll be performing my "Love or Money" routine at Monday Night Tease on December 6th. I'll also be performing a Christmas routine for Peepshow on December 16th. Then I scamper off to Denver for the holidays and I'm hoping to set up a show or two while I am there visiting. I'll keep you posted.

Update- I just booked two shows in Denver. One on December 25th and one on December 27th. Hope to see my Denver friends and fans at one/both of the shows. More details soon. :-)

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